I go back to work in less than a month and I’m feeling a bit nervous. We decided not to do daycare and will hopefully figure out a schedule where one of us can be home watching Zach while the other is working. Even though we’ve made this arrangement, and knowing that he’ll be in good hands, I can’t help but feel that I’m going to be abandoning our son.

Having spent two months with Zach and not having to concentrate on anything else but him has been such a blessing. It’s going to be difficult leaving him every day even if it is just for a few hours. I don’t want to miss a moment—his gummy smiles; his coos; his cries. So, I’ll have to miss a smile here and there, but at least I’ll go through life knowing that we’re doing our best to provide for our son and give him the life that he deserves.

It's not easy trying to capture Zach's smile. This is the best (and only) picture I have of him smiling.

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